I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she told me i tasted like america
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You are the jesus of drinking
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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