Your tits are I can't wait for
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
