problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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