We won't sleep together?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
