i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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