so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
