Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
