You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
