Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
