Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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