with your own penis?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Alive.
So much puke
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
