just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just cut my nipple shaving
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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