so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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