I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
