How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
