New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
