I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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