i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
