Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
