one might say we're banned from that church
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
