It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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