Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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