Yo dont text me then not text me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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