I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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