Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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