I wanna bring you to show and tell
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
