Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
