is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
