This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
