ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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