Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
