Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
