Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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