shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
