he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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