My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
