hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
