I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
