i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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