I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Floor bacon is actually really good
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
