it wasn't lemon gatorade
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
