I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
