Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
