I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
