This is not my ceiling
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You left your phone here
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