i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize