Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
