ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize