seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
