I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
