We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
