Fuck appropriateness.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
