I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
