Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
