I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I touched a dick in church today
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
