You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
