Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
