I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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