so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
