This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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