Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
