He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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