if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
